OWENS SEEKS SPIES Have you aspired to a career in espionage but never gotten your résumé off to the CIA? Don't give up your dreams. Call Chris Owens, candidate for Congress in 2006.

In mid-December Owens e-mailed a political insider and buddy of his from Park Slope, looking for information on State Senator Carl Andrews, a potential opponent in the race to succeed his retiring father, Rep. Major Owens. "I need some intelligence as to how Carl is faring with support from other state elected officials in his quest for Congress," the younger Owens wrote. "And, other than [State Senator] Ada Smith - who is already supporting me, who [sic] do you think I should target for an early endorsement?"

Obviously, this is not something Owens intended to fall into our hands. But since he asked for advice on endorsements to pursue after that of Ada Smith, dubbed "The Wild Woman of Albany" by the Daily News for her boorish behavior, we have some suggestions:

First, Dennis Rodman. Like Senator Smith, Rodman doesn't represent any part of the congressional district or indeed even one block of Brooklyn. Moreover, his history of rebellion against authority mirrors that of Smith, who last year gunned her car through a security checkpoint at an Albany parking garage, nearly taking out a state trooper to whom she barked, "F--- you. I'll park where I want."

Possible endorser number two: Mike Tyson. Like Smith, who was redistricted out of Brooklyn in 2002, Tyson has left the borough, and he also struggles with road rage and a tendency to bite. Tyson chewed the ear of fellow boxer Evander Holyfield and beat up another motorist after a traffic altercation. Smith was accused of biting a police officer and had to be subdued with Mace following a traffic dispute in Bushwick.

Endorser number three: Michael Myers, the mentally disturbed masked killer from the movie "Halloween" and its sequels. His weapon of choice was a cleaver, the same kind of knife Senator Smith once reportedly wielded at an aide who'd been talking to a relative about Smith's medication.

Finally, we suggest Oscar the Grouch, who resides in a garbage can similar to the one Smith once allegedly used to assault a female witness at a wedding ceremony over which she was presiding as a deputy city clerk.

ROAD ROUGH, FORD QUITS Brooklynite Barry Ford, who ran competitively against Rep. Ed Towns in 1998 and 2000, resigned as City Council Speaker Gifford Miller's senior policy adviser after three female subordinates complained that Ford had inappropriately touched their legs and shoulders. Ford, married with two kids, lasted just seven months in his $130,000 job. Two days after quitting, Ford told the media he's innocent.

Suspending an accused employee pending an investigation is expected of politicians, particularly those running for mayor who've been accused of kid-gloving harassment accusations in the past. Yet Miller was slammed by Daily News columnist Errol Louis. Louis, a Crown Heights resident who once ran for City Council against Mary Pinkett, declared that Miller "decapitat[ed]" Ford "seemingly without a trace of due process."

Louis was told that Ford, when confronted, offered to start his holiday vacation early and sort out the matter in 2005. The columnist contended Miller should have accepted Ford's vacation plan, given that Ford made Harvard's Law Review, was a corporate litigator at a top Manhattan firm, was a deputy public advocate, and twice ran respectably for Congress. "Anybody who has managed people knows the extreme care you have to take before possibly ruining a man's reputation or derailing his career. Anybody with sense-or the experience of resolving he-said, she-said cases-would have sent Ford on vacation and then figured out the next move," Louis wrote.

Not necessarily. First, as noted, it's standard operating procedure for employees to be suspended until sexual-harassment accusations against him are resolved, especially in politics. You can bet Miller doesn't want the other mayoral candidates saying, "And when his top aide was accused of groping his female subordinates, what did Mr. Miller do? Sent the guy on a paid vacation!"

Second, assuming the "he-said, she-said" reported by Louis is accurate, Miller's reaction is even more understandable. That is, if Ford indeed said, "I'll take my Christmas break early and we'll talk about these accusations next year," and not, "I did nothing of the sort! I would never touch the legs and shoulders of my female subordinates!"

Third, a Harvard Law Review pedigree has no bearing on sexual harassment proclivities. Anyone remember Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill? The Daily News editorial board jumped on the Miller-bashing bandwagon as well and set a new standard for gumption in the process. The board wrote, "It's clear that Miller's staff described Ford's supposed offenses anonymously to the press, thereby damaging Ford's name and career, all to prove that the speaker is committed to rooting out harassment." But it was the Daily News itself that printed Ford's supposed offenses! If the editorial board felt Miller's leak was unethical, it should have chastised the papers' editors for publishing it. Having acted as Miller's mouthpiece, the paper shares some responsibility with Miller for tarnishing Ford's reputation.

NADLER, FELDER CLASH ON TUNNEL Rep. Jerry Nadler said the government is slowly but steadily moving closer to building the cross-harbor rail freight tunnel he's been lobbying for since about 1980. Given that a draft environmental impact statement showed the road network could not handle the projected increase in freight to New York City, Nadler told us, "We almost have to do the rail freight tunnel."

He said the slow but steady progress of the project reminded him of a quote by Winston Churchill: "Governments will always do the logical thing once they have exhausted the other alternatives." Actually, what Churchill said was, "The Americans will always do the right thing…after they've exhausted all the alternatives." But you get the idea.

One alternative being exhausted by Councilman Simcha Felder is to rally community members against the tunnel. Felder represents Borough Park (as does Nadler) and Midwood, and claims the tunnel would "devastate" his district and others. Felder and others collected 10,000 signatures on a petition, prompting Nadler to say, "They've gone out and told fairy tales to people, so of course they got signatures." Felder has even collected letters from mothers whose children's schools are near the railroad tracks that would connect to the tunnel.

Apparently the gentle rumble of a train passing four times in a seven-hour school day might cause a precipitous decline in their grades. We always thought one job of politicians should be to calm the nonsensical fears that afflict mothers, rather than scare them into believing trains distract children from schoolwork. But that's just us.

OK, that was uncalled for. Felder, after all, told us he honestly considers the concerns legitimate, and asked that he be taken at his word. "In terms of noise, they can only mitigate two flights up and nothing beyond that," he said. But Nadler, for one, cannot even comprehend the noise argument. Referring to the CSX freight train tracks four blocks from the Capitol, Nadler said, "I walk right underneath the tracks and often stop to watch the train. You can hardly hear it."

The tunnel project would replace the noisy Brooklyn tracks (which are still used on occasion) with modern, welded tracks. "So it would be a lot quieter," Nadler said. Incomparably quieter than the elevated subway in Borough Park, he added. Among the other concerns Felder cited in calling a press conference with a Queens colleague to denounce the tunnel were that it would "increase commercial traffic and pollution while displacing manufacturing jobs, small businesses, and young families from their homes."

"They're very misinformed. I don't know where they're getting their facts," Nadler said. "They said there would be 16,000 new trucks a day to Maspeth, which is insanity. There's no way the tunnel has the capacity for anything like that." On the contrary, Nadler said, "It would greatly cut down the number of trucks in Maspeth." Right now, Maspeth's local streets are plagued by 21,400 trucks per day. If nothing were done to alleviate that and a two-lane tunnel were built, on-street truck traffic would rise by 8 percent, or by just 3 percent for a one-track tunnel, which is more likely to be built.

But the tunnel project could be packaged with about $200 million to mitigate local truck traffic. Building a ramp from the tracks to the BQE would reduce daily truck trips on Maspeth's streets to 12,000 or 15,000, according to the consultant who compiled he draft EIS. Over all, a one-track tunnel would eliminate 600,000 trucks per year from New York roadways, and a two-track tunnel 1 million trucks, Nadler said.

Felder said his statistics came from the city's Economic Development Corporation and an independent study commissioned by Queens opponents of the tunnel project. He wasn't surprised that their numbers differed from Nadler's. For any project, Felder said, "People in favor will show you some numbers one way and people opposed will show you numbers the other way." But Nadler considers the draft EIS numbers legit and the opponents' bogus. "Unfortunately you have a few hysterics, a few irresponsible people, who are making up figures," Nadler said. Nadler didn't mention Felder by name, but we get the feeling he won't be campaigning for Felder next year when the councilman's reelection will likely be challenged by Noach Dear.

Felder, incidentally, shot down any suggestion that his opposition to the tunnel is motivated by self-promotion. "I have not been on one of those politicians who grabs hold of issues just to make noise," he said. "And there are many who do that." (Felder wouldn't name names on the record, but here's a hint: he wasn't talking about Nadler.)

HE LOOKS ON THE 'BRIGHTON' SIDE Arthur Gershfeld, a native of Russia who ran for Assembly in Sheepshead Bay this year, lamented that some people still perceive that Russians immigrants are bad for Brighton Beach and other neighborhoods where they've settled. "A lot of people have [an us-versus-them] mentality. But the mentality they should have is the immigrants have made our community better," Gershfeld said, noting that Brighton Beach has more offices, stores and other businesses, restaurants, night clubs, cafes, and housing than before the massive influx of Russians, and a lower crime rate, higher property values, and better schools as well.

Gershfeld, an attorney, came to the U.S. at the age of 5 and is more American than Russian. But he can speak Russian, and his family lived the typical Russian immigrant's experience, leaving the Soviet Union for Brooklyn to escape religious persecution and the obstacles to self-improvement. "I see that the community has grown. It has bettered itself," Gershfeld said. "I don't agree that we're trying to 'take over.' We work very hard and believe in the American dream."

TIDBITS At this newspaper's holiday party last year we grilled Councilman Bill de Blasio about why he was raising his kids as Red Sox fans, condemning them to a lifetime of suffering. He told us it would build their character. Then, at this year's party, again with his kids in tow, de Blasio showed off his daughter's Red Sox jacket to remind us who'd won the World Series. Apparently character-building has taken a back seat to gloating in the de Blasio household. We dutifully informed de Blasio that Boston's title had deprived his children of the true experience of Red Sox fandom. He had no answer for that…

Rep. Jerry Nadler and Major Owens were among the few who voted against authorizing the president to wage war in Iraq. "I think my view was completely vindicated," Nadler said recently, noting the absence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and the administration's failure to show any connection between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda…

Attorney Paul Wooten announced his candidacy for Brooklyn district attorney at a press conference attended by Councilman Al Vann, Assemblywoman Annette Robinson, and Assemblyman Nick Perry. A supporter of another candidate immediately attempted to discredit Wooten's bid, suggesting that he was planted in the race by a white candidate to siphon black votes from State Senator John Sampson, who is also expected to run. It seems to us that minority candidates are accused of that more often than white candidates. The bet here is that more whites will be on the 2005 ballot for D.A. than blacks. Let's see how many are accused of being spoilers…

Sunset Park Republican Michael Benjamin has launched SaveNewYork.org and set up political action committees to press for reform of the state government. Benjamin, a securities trader, made a huge effort to become the Republican nominee against Chuck Schumer in 2004 but got the cold shoulder from his own party…

State Senator Kevin Parker recently paid a shiva call to Noach Dear, whose mother passed away. Parker and Dear campaigned fiercely against each other last summer and in 2002 as well, so the visit was a nice gesture by Parker…

Councilman Vinny Gentile endured some gratuitous ribbing from his colleagues after hiring a former beauty queen to be his chief of staff. Oh, and that reminds of us our policy to have lunch with all new Brooklyn chiefs of staff. Actually, we just came up with the policy, but now seems like a good time to launch it. Gentile's new employee may find our phone number below.

Contact Brooklyn Politics at (718) 399-3693.

Borough Politics Archive

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